we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
