I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
