I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
