I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
