hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
