Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
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I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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