I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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