3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
