dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
