Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
