Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
