I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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