I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
