Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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