i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
