so let's talk penis.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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