he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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