My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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