Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
