I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
