There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
