I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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