My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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