is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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