Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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