ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
