Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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