So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
