He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
