she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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