So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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