it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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