there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
