he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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