Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she smelled like a LAN party
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
