jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
