Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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