OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
