Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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