I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
