I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Randomize
