i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
