Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
