Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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