Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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