Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
