if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
