just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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