just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Reggie can tackle my bush.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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