at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
