He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
