do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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