I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
