i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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