i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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