I accidentally had phone sex last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
