First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize